Re-paw-ter Douglas’s “Did ye ken?”
A wee series of fascinating facts about Scottish Terriers by Douglas.
Two: The quest for tackiness and a shocking discovery.
Did ye ken that o all the dug memorabilia oot there, the highest proportion o it is Scottie based? I’m no sure that’s an actual fact, but it has tae be rich acos we a’ ken how much stuff we own oorsels, and it’s no unsubstantial. Look at this fur example.
So for this article I decided to search for the TACKIEST piece o Scottie memorabilia I could find. I’m no talkin cushions or mugs (see above) or door signs. Naw, I wanted tae find that one thing-that thing that nane o’us have, that possibly nane o us would dare to have. Unfortunately, my quest was fruitless as everything I found I can guarantee that one o us in the club would have already. I came to the sad conclusion that there is NUTHIN in the world of scottie memorabilia that you dotty scottie owners widnae buy. Admit it.
Apart fae this mebbe
But this probably counts as Westie memorabilia.
So I decided to gie up and dae a piece aboot notorious scottie owners instead. And whae is mair notorious than Eva Braun? That misguided wummin whase twa Scotties, the dodgily named Negus and Stasi, were cruel victims of that evil dictator. The day efter Eva and he commited suicide, the dug handler killed them a’naw. It’s a very sad and affecting tale for us Scotties.
So I was researching a’ aboot them when the thocht crossed my mind…”whit would I find if I searched for…?” And then as if by magic, ma prayers were answered, hallelujah, praise be! I had foond whit I wiz originally lookin for.
Readers, if you can find anything mair tacky and generally ‘wrang’ than whit I am aboot to show you, then I salute youse. For I think I have foond the winner of the tackiest piece o Scottibilia that has ever existed. I doubt any o youse would want it gracing yer mantlepieces, I may be wrang, but I seriously doubt it.
Here we go.
Ye can buy a companion statue o her husband tae if ye should so wish.
There we have it-whae widnae want a statuette o Eva Braun and her twa Scotties in their front room display cabinet?
It’s yours for aroond £65 if ye search ‘Eva Braun scottie statue’ like ah did.
I challenge youse tae find anything in worse taste.
Lots of Love
Douglas (aged 6)